You are lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. Your mind is racing at 6,000 thoughts per minute. You are anxious, fearful, and wondering if this pain is ever going to get better.
You have an Inner Big Rig, and right now, your “Mind Motor” is redlining. But because you are sitting on the couch doing nothing, your transmission is in neutral. You keep hitting the accelerator, spinning your mental wheels, and wasting precious fuel and energy.
I know exactly what that feels like. I spent a year with my rear end parked on the couch, letting Netflix sit in the driver’s seat of my life.
If you want to get out of the “Divorce Ditch,” you have to engage the clutch. You have to connect that powerful mind motor to your passion-filled heart. Here is exactly how you do it, starting with one simple gear shift.
The “Granny Gear” Hack
When guys finally decide they are tired of being depressed, they make a massive mistake. They make “The List.”
- I’m going to eat better.
- I’m going to work out.
- I’m going to find a better job.
- I’m going to save money.
They create a list of eight massive life changes and try to do them all on Monday morning. In trucker terms, that is trying to pull a fully loaded rig up a steep hill by starting in 8th gear.
What happens? You kill the engine.
Throw the list away. If you want to get moving, you have to put your life in Granny Gear. That is the lowest, slowest gear you have, but it provides the maximum amount of torque to get you unstuck.
Your Granny Gear is Gratitude. Pick one thing to be thankful for. Just one. For me, back then, it was my kids. When you focus on one single point of gratitude, you let the clutch out slowly. You begin to move.
And once you start moving, you enter the pipeline.
The 5-Step Builder Pipeline
When you make the shift from the Left Hand (The Destroyer) to the Right Hand (The Builder), you trigger a chain reaction. I call this the “Concept to Convoy” pipeline.
1. The Concept (The Seed) It starts in your conscious mind. You plant a single, positive seed. The concept might just be three words: I am not alone. 2. The Construct (The Beliefs) You take that concept and use it to Construct a better belief system. (And no, I don’t mean a B.S. system). You start to believe that you actually have a future worth fighting for. You begin with the end in mind.
3. The Convictions (The Heart) This is where the magic happens. That belief drops from your head into your heart. The most powerful force on this earth isn’t anger or rage—it is the directed, controlled emotion of the human heart. You become convicted of your purpose.
4. The Conduct & Conversations (The Action) When your heart changes, your physical body follows. Your conversations change. You stop complaining about your ex, and you start talking about your future. Your conduct changes. People look at you and say, “What is going on with you? You seem different.”
5. The Convoy (The Brotherhood) When you change your conduct, you stop being invisible. You start attracting like-minded, like-hearted people. You realize you are no longer alone. You have built a Convoy.
From Circumstance to Choice
Years ago, my Left Hand (Destroyer) choices led me to be homeless in Houston for six months. I hid under the I-10 overpass. That happened by chance, because I wasn’t controlling my rig.
Today, I live and broadcast out of my Kia Forte. I am technically homeless again, but this time it is by choice. I choose not to pay rent so that I can use my financial fuel to pay my virtual assistant, run this platform, and build this Convoy for you.
When you take control of the pipeline, you stop being a victim of your circumstances and start becoming the Director of your life.
Join the Fleet
If you are tired of redlining in neutral, put it in Granny Gear and join the fleet. We are expanding the Convoy to make sure nobody gets left behind.
1. Join the Dads of Divorce Fortress We have 5,000 men inside who have shifted out of neutral and are building their lives. Join the Brotherhood Here
2. Fuel the Mission I am funding this movement from the front seat of a Kia. If this post helped you today, throw a few bucks in the tank. Buy a Gallon of Convoy Fuel ($5)
Take a breath, grab a gear, and let’s get moving.